Love, Zoe inc.
Love, Zoe is a non profit organization created to honor the life and legacy of Zoe Kate Powers. Any and all donations given to her non-profit will all be used to help/encourage other families like ours.
Here is just a little of her story:
Zoe was very involved in sports, school and church. Everyone who knew her, loved her. She was a dedicated friend who loved so big. A protector. A comforter. An encourager. And the best hugger you’ve ever met.
It was softball season... the end of June 2017, and Zoe wasn't acting herself. She was very tired, no appetite and getting more pale every day. I took her to the doctor to be checked out and insisted on blood work. It would be the next day when I got a call from her pediatrician telling us her blood work was not good. That same day, June 21 we were sent to Cook Children's medical center in Fort Worth where she was diagnosed with acute lymphocytic leukemia. The next several hours would be filled with blood transfusions, spinal taps, paperwork explaining her 2.5 year treatment plan, port placement, bone marrow biopsies, and chemo. She started chemo on June 22. Zoe responded extremely well to chemo treatment and 8 days into treatment she had 0% leukemia cells in her blood, which was extremely amazing! It would be the next day we would be released from the hospital, but given orders to stay nearby... at least for the first 30 days of treatment.
We spent one night in a nearby hotel. ONE. Early the next morning, on the 10th day after diagnosis, she began running fever and vomiting. We rushed her to Cook Children’s Emergency Department. It was there that she had a seizure, and would be moved to the PICU, unconscious. After numerous tests trying to figure out why she declined so quickly, and without warning, she was diagnosed with meningitis. You see, Zoe had contracted a stomach bug, which would have maybe left us with an achy tummy, but since she had just received intrathecal (spinal) chemotherapy, the bacteria was able to travel straight to her brain. Every doctor and specialist we came in contact with during this time was so confused, shocked, heartbroken and brought to their knees in prayer... you see, meningitis after intrathecal chemo is something that is warned about, but also something that has never happened, before her. Just 12 days after her initial leukemia diagnosis, our girl passed away, in my arms, surrounded by family and friends.
Only 7 years old.
We had not had time to let her leukemia diagnosis sink in before she was gone.
In the hospital, I prayed so hard for healing...For God to give her fighting strength because I knew it would be an amazing part of her testimony. I just knew it. But, now I see, HER legacy and testimony was already bigger than I ever knew, and this time of life was meant to be a part of OUR testimony.
To say we miss her, is an understatement. I have said "I miss you" a thousand times in my life and never, until now, fully understood or grasped what it truly means to miss someone. People say the pain will dull. It absolutely does not. It comes in waves... some stronger than others. God had different plans than what I wanted but I am leaning into Him. Trusting His path for us. Her big sisters, her daddy, and I miss her terribly. Every single day. Every single minute.
So many prayers have been prayed for God to give us strength as a family. And He did. He has. Strength thru pain, unbearable pain. But hope in His promises. Promises that we will see Him one day, and see her sweet face, too.
Not a minute goes by that I don't think of her. Not a day goes by that we don't tell a Zoe story. Just in our day someone saying "oh, do you remember the time she....." helps us heal because of all of her memories. Not a day goes by that I don't look at her picture and smile, or cry, or both. I thank God for those pictures... For so many memories that we can hold on to forever.
We are thankful for the random texts from friends just asking "how are ya?" Or just a text simply saying "hey" or "❤️". Beyond thankful for old friends and new friends who aren’t afraid to say her name or ask about her. That right there means so much to us. It helps us know others remember, too.
Counting the months without her. So many months of brokenness.
I heard someone say once, "God shines thru the cracks of broken people". I pray that can be true. I pray He can use me to shine so bright for His glory.
My prayers are also for strength to be a good Godly momma. Wanting so bad to be an example for my girls of what it looks like to lean on God's grace in times of trouble. Trying to be a good momma while my heart is breaking is one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. But, I will continue to trust Him and give Him thanks for the blessings He has given Zach and I to raise. Forever grateful to be the momma of my three.
It took me so many months to realize it is possible to be happy and grieving at the same time. Not at all easy, but possible. Because no matter how deep our grief, there is still much joy to be had.
So, here we are... holding on to JOY... which would actually be the very last little word our girl would ever write. Joy. And our Zoe, knew true joy, when she gave her life to Christ, then 4 short months later got to see Him face to face! Unspeakable joy.
#hernameisZoe
Zoe loved to write letters, some of which we have found after her passing. Each letter was signed with "love, Zoe" so we thought it would be the perfect name for her organization.
